Pervert Fu
by Hawk
Summary: Who knew that a spot of rain in the wrong place at the wrong time, could have such a huge impact on the Ranmaverse. Or perhaps that should be, a spot of rain in the right place at the right time? Ranmaverse AU.
1. One

Pervert Fu R  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson 

Summary: Who knew that a spot of rain in the wrong place at the wrong time, could have such a huge impact on the Ranma-verse. Or perhaps that should be, a spot of rain in the right place at the right time? Ranmaverse AU.

Disclaimer: Ranma ½, the characters and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were! The story is mine though, all mine. This series deals with mature subject matters and violence. If this disturbs you, don't read. But if it does, then why the heck are you watching the show/reading the manga in the first place?

Disclaimer addendum:  
I do not now use, have never used and in all likelihood, will never use, a prereader of any brand, shape, colour or kind. Thus, I have nobody to blame but myself for any errors, grammatical oddities or inconsistencies.

So I'm damned fortunate that I never make any of those! ;D

It's all in the eyes of the beholder, y'know. So if you spot anything wrong, it's your own damn fault! Not mine! Nyah-nyah-nyah!

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site athawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above if you're reading this on fanfiction dot net.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Mad Author Raving 

Yes, yes, it's been done to death in piles of lemons and a few regular fics, I know. But I still wanted to do my take and well, here it is. If you've had it with fics based on this premise, then don't read it and live a happier life.

But if on the other hand you're interested in my demented take on things, g'ahead. Read it. Ah dare ya!

The relatively tame parts of this fic, will wind up on fanfiction dot net, though the lemon bits will only be posted on my own site and at fanfics R us, due to fanfiction dot nets policy on NC-17-rated fics. Because the lemon bits of this fic, will defenetively be NC-17 rated for graphic descriptions of sexual deviancy.

Mad Author is dragged away for his daily sedation 

* * *

Chapter One:

It was raining.

Which might not seem like such an odd occurrence to most of us. After all, almost every part of the world is exposed to rain at one point or another during the course of a normal year. But the thing was, it wasn't supposed to rain in this particular spot, not now. In plenty of other universes, dimensions and timelines, it didn't rain or at least didn't rain as heavily as it did now and events unfolded in a very familiar way because of it.

But here, in this world, in this dimension, in this universe, in this timeline, it rained quite heavily.

The three men in the cave didn't much care about the rain. After all, one was well on his way to becoming roaring drunk and the other two had more disturbing things to fret about then weather the outside of the cave was becoming wet or not.

Unfortunately for the two more-or-less-sober men, the mountain area the cave was located in wasn't entirely stable and several cracks had developed over the years, allowing water to trickle down into it. Neither of the men noticed, nor would have particularly cared even if they had.

Had the balding fellow with a hankie on his head been a demolitions expert, or at the very least knowledgeable enough that he hadn't stolen plain candle wick to use as a fuse for the dynamite he'd 'liberated' from a construction site earlier, the rain wouldn't have mattered.

But fool that he was, and I guess we can all agree on the fact that Saotome Genma doesn't play with a full mental deck of cards, he had decided that candle wick would work well enough if he used enough of it.

Thus, it should come to no surprise that no explosion occurred after Master Happosai had drunk himself into unconsciousness, been trussed up and locked into the cave with a bundle of dynamite adorned with a handful of sloppily twisted burning candle wicks attached to it. As the ancient master rolled around in his slumber, he rolled over one of the aforementioned puddles and completely extinguished the faintly flickering flame.

Neither of his two students noticed that though, as they were far too busy running away from the site of the anticipated explosion.

Thus, it was one hung-over and faintly annoyed Grandmaster of Anything Goes that emerged out from the cave the following morning, intent on showing those two ingrates just how big a mistake they had made when they tried to get rid of him and failed. He thought he would have taught them better then that, but it appeared as if the two fools would require more and far harsher training to teach them the error of their ways.

* * *

"But Mas..." Genma tried to protest, but was cut off. He didn't have time for a training journey with the master, it was almost time to take Ranma on one but the master absolutely refused to bring Ranma with them.

"Silence, whelp!" Happosai snapped, then winced as the little brat started bawling again. Happosai liked children, but this was the noisy age and the bawling was well on the way to annoying the crap out of him. He couldn't go to the Tendo place either, since it was even worse there. Baby Akane had a voice that could bring down a badly built house, Nabiki wasn't all that much of an improvement over her baby sister and Kasumi had the very disturbing tendency to yank on his beard whenever he visited. All in all, it was time for an extended training journey.

"We are going and that's final. Now tell your wife and son goodbye, so we can get this show on the road!" Happosai continued, making baby Ranma cry even harder. "Don't dawdle, I want to snag up the other ingrate before he has a chance to find out what's going on and tries to escape."

And thus it was that the odd trio left on an extended training journey, not to return for several years.

Resulting in Tendo Kimiko having to stay at home to watch the children, requesting that one of her neighbours do her shopping for her on a very special day, thus completely avoiding an accidental meeting resulting in a horrible disease that would have stolen away much of her expected lifespan.

Also resulting in Ranma being raised by Saotome Nodoka, a woman with very firm beliefs on how a strapping young lad such as Ranma ought to behave.

All because of a spot of rain in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Or the right time at the right time, depending on ones point of view.

* * *

"I'm done!" eight-year old Saotome Ranma suddenly exclaimed, turning away from the hole he had drilled in the fence to look at his mother, who nodded approvingly.

"Excellent, Ranma. You're becoming such a marvellously studly young man already!" Nodoka gushed, shooing him towards the hole. "Now come on, son. Peep at them to your little hearts content!" she encouraged him. She smiled benignly as the young man turned his head around and started to peep on the women lounging in the onsen behind the wooden fence, giving a hushed running commentary on his observations to his mother who couldn't believe her good fortune in being graced with such a fine young son.

She only regretted that Genma wasn't around to further Ranma's studies in the Saotome School of Anything Goes. Nodoka herself had never been all that proficient and while she had ensured that Ranma had mastered the basics of the family school, she had been forced to rely on outsiders to train Ranma, which had rendered him very skilled in a wide variety of other Martial Arts. She was determined to have shaped him into a well-rounded Martial Artist by the time Genma returned and could take over Ranma's education in the Saotome Ryu.

And if he didn't return at all, well, several of Ranma's senseis had expressed an interest in taking the extremely talented boy under their wings, two had even offered to make him their official heir. Apparently, Ranma was a prodigy of unheard of ability, soaking up knowledge at astonishing rates. He'd already achieved first Dan in five different styles and was well on his way to it in three others. Such an achievement was deemed more or less impossible for someone his age, but her Ranma had managed it.

He was such a manly young boy!

And with her help, he'd grow into the man amongst men she'd always wanted. While he'd failed to see the point of many of his mothers little excursions now, she was sure he'd appreciate her tutelage when he grew a little older.

As would his future wife and many mistresses. Oh, the grandchildren she'd get!

"I think we'll be reviewing your oral skills this evening, Ranma." she commented. Oh, yes. The future Mrs Saotome and Ranma's many mistresses would thank her for all her hard work, over and over again.

"Aw, man. Again?" Ranma groused with a slight slump in his shoulders, then shrugged and kept watching, despite knowing he'd have a sore tongue tomorrow. He wanted to make his mother proud, even though he failed to see the point of many of the various exercises she had him go through. Perhaps this particular training exercise was helping him build up his observational skills or something. He wasn't sure, but since his mother said that it was important and praised him for what he did, he kept it up.

Just like he would when it came time to practise on his oral skills later in the evening.

* * *

"Nodoka? Ranma? I'm home." Genma announced as he stumbled into the house, dropping his backpack by the door. His once-white Gi was badly soiled, badly singed and had several ragged tears in it.

"Welcome home, husband. How was your little trip?" Nodoka gently inquired, walking up to him and placing an absent kiss on a dirty and bruised cheek.

"Little? I was gone for nine years." Genma groused.

"Oh? That long? I hardly noticed." Nodoka commented, then grinned happily. "Ranma is turning out very well. He's truly becoming a man amongst men!" she gushed, unable to contain her joy.

"Where is the boy? Today isn't a school day, is it?" Genma demanded, eager to see the son he hadn't seen since shortly after his birth.

"I sent him down to the public bathhouse for his daily panty raid and to peek at the women there." Nodoka happily replied.

"The one just down the road?" Genma asked suspiciously, a growing sense of dread slowly crawling up his spine, making him shiver. "The one where I just managed to esca... Eh... The one where I left Master Happosai to recover from our long journey while I went on ahead, to see my beloved wife and son?" he continued, neglecting to mention that he'd taken a bomb in order to land the kick which had thrown Happosai into the bathhouse. He'd sprinted home at full speed, hoping that the bathhouse would distract Happosai long enough for him to leave with Ranma, before Happosai got his greedy little paws on him.

"What a haul! What a haul!"

"What a haul! What a haul!"

Genma groaned in utmost defeat, as he heard the twin triumphant cries coming closer and closer to the Saotome home. He was too late. Now his chances of escaping with Ranma were less then zero, judging from the joyful exclamations.

As Ranma entered the house with Happosai trailing behind him, both of them were carrying sacks of female unmentionables on their backs and had handkerchiefs tied around their heads, Genma sighed and shook his head. He was too late to escape this nightmare now. What Nodoka had started, Happosai would finish.

"Genma! Truly an excellent son you've got here!" Happosai approved. "I have never before encountered such a promising young man in my entire life! I name him my chosen heir!" he exclaimed, glowing with joy.

"Oh... That's great, Master..." Genma stated neutrally, seeing before him a vision of what Ranma probably would turn out to become after training with Happosai. All his hopes and dreams of raising a loyal son, whom could take over the Tendo Dojo and allow him to live out the rest of his life in comfort were slowly turning into dust right before his very eyes.

* * *

"So, Ranma. Where did you go today and did you see any ten-pointers during your little patrol?" Nodoka inquired as she handed him a bowl of rice at supper.

"Well, there was one awesome babe I ran across in Nerima on my way back to Juuban. A real cute little number." Ranma replied with a wide grin, reaching into the sack behind his back where he rummaged around for a while, searching for the texture he well remembered from the item in question. "Ah, here it is. She had a nametag on them." he commented as he pulled out a pair of white cotton panties with a cute little blue pattern on them. "Ten-do Na-bi-ki. Tendo Nabiki." he revealed and sniffed at the panties, before he put them back into the sack.

"Cough! What!" Genma demanded, spewing rice all over the table. "Tendo Nabiki!"

"Yeah. Y'know her, pops?" Ranma inquired.

"Ranma, language..." Nodoka berated him.

"Sorry, mom. Do you know her, pops?" Ranma attempted again and Nodoka let the 'pops' slide after a moment's consideration.

"She's one of my friend Tendo Soun's daughters." Genma replied.

"Ah, I remember Tendo-san. He's another of Happosai's disciples, isn't he?" Nodoka commented after a moment to tryand recall where she had heard that name before. Then it clicked and she recalled Tendo Soun and his wife Kimiko. Nodoka had visited them right after Ranma had been born, when she'd also met Kimiko and Souns three daughters for the first time since Tendo-sans marriage to Kimiko.

"Yes. While we laboured under the drea-ah... Respected master to learn Anything Goes, developing the Saotome Ryu and Tendo Ryu, we became the best of friends. In fact, we even promised to unite our two schools through our children. Ranma will marry one of Soun's daughters and unite the two schools." Genma responded.

"I get to marry that babe? Cool." Ranma commented.

"Tendo-san had three daughters when last we met, Ranma. So there's at least three girls to choose from. Perhaps you shouldn't decide on Nabiki until you've checked out the others and learned whom you like the most." Nodoka suggested. "Besides, one or more of the others might make appropriate mistresses, even if you don't marry them."

"Great idea, mom. I'll take a closer look at 'em." Ranma exclaimed, then dug into his food with gusto as Genma sighed. While on his nine-year training journey, he had spent a lot of time worrying about the sort of nonsense Nodoka would be filling Ranma's head with. It appeared as if his fears had been well-founded.

His only comfort was that Ranma was a fine Martial Artist and that he didn't seem to be all that affected by the worst of Happosai's traits, despite the month of training that he had received from the dreaded master. He was already perverted thanks to Nodoka, so Happosai made little difference there.

But Ranma didn't care much for strong drink, though he occasionally drank to make his mother happy, as she insisted that all real men drank copiously on occasion. He didn't steal, as he had no need for such. He wasn't abusive, horrible, violent and crazy, like the fearsome master.

In fact, all the influence Happosai seemed to have on Ranma, was that he learned to take better advantage of the underwear that he stole and all the women that he groped, as the old Master taught Ranma various techniques to extract Chi from lingerie and women.

Perhaps he could still live out his life in comfort, living off his son? Perhaps things wouldn't turn out to become quite as bad as he had envisioned? After all, he seemed to be amendable enough to marrying one of Soun's girls.

"You can do that next month. I received permission from the Master to train you myself for a bit." Genma announced and his expression shifted to that of a proud father. He had sealed the techniques, that was true. However, the allure of teaching them to Ranma was just too big for Genma to ignore. Ranma was a fine and upstanding Martial Artist, no ill could possibly come off this and once Ranma had learned them, he would be even further ahead on the path to becoming the worlds greatest Martial Artist!

Genma only regretted that the boy was now too old for the Neko-ken training. It was a shame, that technique was supposed to turn one invincible!

* * *

"Woha. Babe-o-rama." Ranma mumbled to himself and allowed his roaming eyes to take it all in. It had been simple enough to sabotage the Tendo water heater and then follow the girls to this public bathhouse, thus enabling himself to peek and compare them all at the same time. And it was, just like he'd commented to himself, babe-o-rama. All three girls were gorgeous, the older two in particular. The younger was cute and certainly had potential, but still had a bit of growing left to do before she'd really blossom.

He desperately jumped out of the way as a woman carrying a pail of water tripped over a dropped towel. One never knew, it might just be warm water. With his luck, it almost certainly was. It just wouldn't do to be splashed with warm water and have him be revealed as a man.

He wasn't in the mood for dodging and evasive manoeuvres training right now.

Ranma reminded himself to beat up Genma rather badly in tomorrow's session. Again... While the curse he acquired on their brief training journey to China did have quite a few uses when it came to training, peeping and stealing underwear, it still annoyed the hell out of him most of the time.

Genma was an asshole, not only had their supposed month-long training journey turned out to become a five-year long one, but Genma had also had countless opportunities to unveil his incredible stupidity to young Ranma.

His mother hadn't been very pleased either, neither at the extended training or the curse, but she had recovered soon enough as she realized that the curse offered her manly son countless opportunities to peep from up close in his female form and also gave him the edge he needed to get lesbian mistresses. She was convinced that once they'd have a taste of his talents, he could 'straighten' them out easily enough and get her even more grandchildren.

He shuddered at that thought. While he was amendable enough to most of her ideas, he was still far from ready to get children. Of course, he couldn't tell his mother that! Nodoka seemed to measure true happiness in the amount of grandchildren one had.

He finished lathering himself up and washed it off with cold water, taking one last good look at the three sisters. It would have been nice with a soak in the hot water, but that wouldn't be a very good idea. Instead, he comforted himself by absconding with their underwear before he left the changing room. Their panties and bras were in good company as well, he'd found many delectable pieces of underwear in the lockers just waiting for him to liberate them from their captivity!

As he left the bathhouse, he started considering what to do. He would marry one to satisfy family honour and make mistresses out of the other two to satisfy his desires. Problem was, he didn't think that any of them was ready for anything of the sort. He had noticed that most girls vehemently and sometimes violently opposed most of his mothers and Happosais teachings. He suspected that this would be yet another hurdle.

The older one, Kasumi, might put up with mistresses, if he was discreet about it. But the two younger ones... No, never.

In fact, the youngest one didn't even seem to be interested in boys at all! She would become his first lesbian convert, Ranma instantly decided. But he needed to do something about them before the marriage and acquirement of mistresses could begin or there'd be no end of trouble and arguments. Something had to be done.

Fortunately, Uncle Happosai often had good ideas for just these kinds of situations. Ranma was certain that the old man would have some idea of how to proceed.

* * *

"Ah, I see." Happosai commented after Ranma had explained the problem he now faced. "You want to marry Kasumi, then make mistresses out of Nabiki and Akane? But you don't think that they will be amendable to it and have decided to come to me for a solution to your problem." he continued, then his eyes suddenly turned huge and moist, his expression happy. "I'm so proud of you! You're a better heir then I ever could have hoped for!" he exclaimed and leapt at Ranma, ignoring the fact that the boy was currently a male. He wrapped his little arms as far around Ranma's torso as he could. "You can count on Uncle Happosai! I'll teach you everything I've ever learned about women and how to handle them. You'll have them begging to follow your every command once I'm done with you! Them and more besides! Oh, just imagine all the lacy little lovelies I can get my hands on once you've acquired a suitable amount of mistresses and trained them properly!"

"I knew I could count on you, Uncle Happosai!" Ranma cheered, wrapping his arms around the perverted old man, his own eyes also huge and moist as the two resident perverts imagined themselves sitting on two mountains of silky undies, a horde of naked women surrounding them, pleading for their Masters to give them an order, any order.

"Why, oh why, didn't I make sure that the dynamite finished him off all those years ago?" Genma moaned out on the porch, holding a half-empty bottle of sake and staring morosely up at the night sky.

The End! ( For now... )


	2. Two

Ranma - Pervert Fu 

Pervert Fu R  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Who knew that a spot of rain in the wrong place at the wrong time, could have such a huge impact on the Ranma-verse. Or perhaps that should be, a spot of rain in the right place at the right time? Ranmaverse AU.

Disclaimer: Ranma ½, the characters and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were! The story is mine though, all mine. This series deals with mature subject matters and violence. If this disturbs you, don't read. But if it does, then why the heck are you watching the show/reading the manga in the first place?

Disclaimer addendum:  
I do not now use, have never used and in all likelihood, will never use, a prereader of any brand, shape, colour or kind. Thus, I have nobody to blame but myself for any errors, grammatical oddities or inconsistencies.

So I'm damned fortunate that I never make any of those! ;D

It's all in the eyes of the beholder, y'know. So if you spot anything wrong, it's your own damn fault! ( Or quickedit on fanfiction dot net ) Not mine! Nyah-nyah-nyah!

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above if you're reading this on fanfiction dot net.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Previously, on 'Pervert Fu' 

"Ah, I see." Happosai commented after Ranma had explained the problem he now faced. "You want to marry Kasumi, then make mistresses out of Nabiki and Akane? But you don't think that they will be amendable to it and have decided to come to me for a solution to your problem." he continued, then his eyes suddenly turned huge and moist, his expression happy. "I'm so proud of you! You're a better Heir then I ever could have hoped for!" he exclaimed and leapt at Ranma, ignoring the fact that the boy was currently a male. He wrapped his little arms as far around Ranma's torso as he could. "You can count on Uncle Happosai! I'll teach you everything I've ever learned about women and how to handle them. You'll have them begging to follow your every command once I'm done with you! Them and more besides! Oh, just imagine all the lacy little lovelies I can get my hands on once you've acquired a suitable amount of mistresses and trained them properly!"

"I knew I could count on you, Uncle Happosai!" Ranma cheered, wrapping his arms around the perverted old man, his own eyes also huge and moist as the two resident perverts imagined themselves sitting on two mountains of silky undies, a horde of naked women surrounding them, pleading for their Masters to give them an order, any order.

"Why, oh why, didn't I make sure that the dynamite finished him off all those years ago?" Genma moaned out on the porch, holding a half-empty bottle of sake and staring morosely up at the night sky.

Roll credits 

* * *

Chapter Two:

Arranging for a transfer to Furinkan in Nerima was easily taken care of, Vice-Principal Fujiwara became most agreeable after Ranma had used some of his newly learned techniques on her. For someone who didn't engage in any sexual acts besides fondling breasts, groping butts and rubbing his face against any well-formed cleavage he could find, Happosai knew a remarkable amount of astonishing techniques. Techniques which could have any woman purring like a kitten in less then a minute and pleading for more, ready to do whatever it took to experience such bliss again.

Apparently, he'd picked many of them up during a visit to Korea some hundred or two-hundred years ago. He'd visited a place called Sinanju and from hiding observed a great Martial Artist for a couple of days, following him around and picking up a thing or two when observing him courting his future wife. After that, Happosai had kept on amassing similar techniques and even developing a few of his own, even if he claimed that he had no use for such things as all women loved him anyway.

Ranma smiled as he leapt off a fence and over the wall to Furinkan, but then blinked in surprise as he saw a horde of boys holding some sort of gathering in front of the gates. He blinked and strolled over to take a closer look. It seemed vaguely interesting and he wanted to know what was going on.

He stopped next to a tree and glanced over at the older boy in the Kendo outfit leaning against the trunk, muttering to himself. Apparently he was trying to come up with something.

"The Shooting Star does sound impressive, but not impressive enough for one such as I. The noble scion of the house of Kuno requires a nom de guerre of grander stature." the Kendoist muttered to himself. "The Far... No... The Resplendent... No... The Blue Bolt? No... I like blue though... Perhaps... The Blue..."

"Yo." Ranma greeted him, interrupting the odd guy's musings. "Sorry to disturb you like this, but I'm new here and was just wondering what everybody is doing loitering around here." he continued, gesturing at the collected horde.

Kuno was mildly annoyed at having his musings interrupted, but wouldn't let anybody claim that the fair and kind Kuno Tatewaki would not take the time required to educate his lessers in areas they were ignorant in, so he concealed his ire beneath a friendly facade.

Or, at least what passed for a friendly facade with Kuno Tatewaki.

"Then hearken unto me and your lack of knowledge shall be dispelled. For I am Kuno Tatewaki, age seventeen, captain of Furinkans Kendo club, also known as... As... Eh..." he trailed off, trying to recapture the very promising line of thought he'd followed earlier, only to fail and have to fall back upon what he already had. "As The Shooting Star!" Kuno announced, raising his bokken to the skies as he struck a pose. "Beyond yonder gates, the fierce and beauteous amazon Tendo Akane approaches. As is right and proper, she will date none who cannot best her in honourable combat. These uncouth louts aspire for this most noble of goals, foolishly thinking themselves capable of defeating the fair tigress!"

"Oh. Thank you." Ranma absently responded, scratching the back of his head in bewilderment. It certainly sounded like the Amazons from China and Kuno had called the girl an Amazon. Odd. He hadn't been aware that the Tendo family had any connections to the amazons. Oh well, at least that simplified matters.

If all he had to do in order to land a date with them was to beat the snot outta them, well, then he might just as well start planning for the dates right now.

Though he did wonder why the Amazon marriage laws had been changed from how things were in China. Perhaps they had to adapt by changing marry to date in order to get by in this more modern society?

"Do you too seek to defeat the tigress?" Kuno demanded, staring down at Ranma with a contemptuous glare. Clearly not believing him capable of such a feat and getting pretty worked up by the mere suspicion of Ranma trying it.

"Oh, I wouldn't presume to intrude." Ranma replied. "Please, go ahead. If you yourself do not succeed in whopping her ass and she's cute, I might give it a shot though." Ranma added with a faint shrug.

"Tendo Akane is perfection! Her skin, smooth and fair. Her lips, full and alluring. The swell of her hips, the soft mounds of her chest and the enticing..." Kuno started raving, but Ranma cut him off.

"Sounds like a pretty gal." Ranma agreed with a smile. Of course, he already knew this. But Kuno didn't need to know that. "If you don't mind, I think I will give it a shot after you've had your turn." he added and bowed to his new rival. "I'm Saotome Ranma, age sixteen, heir to the Saotome school of Anything Goes Martial Arts and heir to the Founding school of Anything Goes Martial Arts." he introduced himself.

"Anything Goes?" Kuno stated suspiciously, then narrowed his eyes at Ranma. "Tendo Akane is the recently proclaimed heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes. I demand that you tell me what the connection between the two of you is!"

"None that I know of." Ranma lied, shrugging his shoulders. "Tendo School?" he parroted and creased his forehead, as if in deep thought. "I think my father mentioned a Tendo Soun once. They were both disciples training under Master Happosai some years back, before Master Happosai proclaimed me his chosen heir. Perhaps Tendo-san developed his own school after he parted ways with my father."

"Tendo Soun? Ah, I see. He is the venerable father of my beauteous tigress!" Kuno proclaimed, calming down a bit, before he tilted his head and smiled. "Hearken, my sweet angel approaches!"

"... ate boys... I hate boys... I hate boys... I Hate boys... I HATE boys... I HATE Boys... I HATE BOYS... I HATE BOYS! I HATE BOYS!" Akane hollered as she came running through the gates, then dove into the horde of boys gathered there. Ranma whistled at the carnage that followed. "That's Anything Goes?" he inquired with a bewildered expression, scratching the back of his head again as he stared as Akane deftly slid back and forth, tossing people aside and evading attacks with flowing effective motions.

"Nay, Akane hath only recently begun her training in the Tendo School of Anything Goes. Her father was missing for much of her childhood and as such, her mother trained her in Akido." Kuno revealed. "It is only after her father returned some years back, when she first started to receive training in Anything Goes. Some months ago, she was proclaimed the Heir as her vile mercenary sister stopped practising and the innocent flower that is her eldest sister stepped aside for her youngest sister."

"Ouch! That wasn't Akido!" Ranma winced in sympathy as one unfortunate young man dressed as a fencer received a brutal kick to the groin.

"Indeed it was not. The tigress hath a temper rivalling that of the vengeful Ares himself and employs several moves which hath little in common with the art she mainly practises. Ever since her father returned, she hath added several new such moves to her repertoire." Kuno agreed, then started flexing and relaxing as the scuffle started winding down, warming himself up for the coming confrontation.

Ranma studied Akane fight with interest, the combination of Akido, Anything Goes and brawling made for an interesting mix. He could tell that Akane had a lot of strength, a fair amount of speed and some skill, but was impeded by her anger. But still, she kept up fairly well considering the amount of opponents she had to cope with.

Of course, she wasn't anywhere near as good as him. But then again, he had spent many exciting afternoons surrounded by angry women wanting to inflict bodily harm upon him. Thus, Ranma now possessed reflexes and skills in group fighting that were only equalled by Happosai.

As the last man fell, a bulky member of the Sumo club from the looks of things, Kuno stepped out from behind the tree and tossed a rose towards Akane. A rose which she caught in the air and crushed with a determined look of resigned frustration on her face.

"Kuno-sempai." she greeted him, obviously resigned to having to deal with him, but not at all liking it.

"Ahh, my heaven-sent valkyrie. Truly a masterly performance, as always." Kuno greeted her, then got into a ready-stance. "Art thou prepared for our joyous reunion and the eternal bliss of the date which shall surely follow upon your impending defeat?"

"Bring it on, Kuno-sempai." Akane snarled and shifted into a horse-stance, prepared to beat the crap out of Kuno. Ranma found the 'fight' highly amusing. Kuno was holding back and Akane going all out. At first, Ranma just assumed that Kuno was playing with her, but much to his surprise, Akane eventually won.

Didn't Kuno want to win? And if he didn't, then why was he challenging her to begin with? That last punch left him bruised, bleeding and defeated. If he didn't really want to beat her, then he'd just gotten himself hurt for nothing.

Silly idiot.

"Not bad. You're letting your anger get the better of you, which is messing up your form and focus. But all in all, not bad." Ranma commented from where he was leaning against the tree, having observed the fight.

"Who are you?" Akane demanded angrily, glaring at him.

"Saotome Ranma. I'm new here." he lazily replied. "This is the first place I've come across since a little village in China where the outcome of a fight decides weather one is free on Saturday evening or not." he added and chuckled. "Ah well, to each their own."

"You're here to fight me?" Akane demanded. "If not, I've got to go to class."

"Well, I guess I am. Unless, of course, simply asking if you'd like to go out on a date on Saturday evening will be enough." Ranma replied.

"Well then, bring it on." Akane snapped, then got ready to fight again.

"Well, if that's the way you want to play it... How about after school? That'll give you a chance to rest up and get ready for it. Unless, of course, you change your mind over the course of the day and decide that me just asking will be enough." Ranma suggested.

"Are you implying that I might need rest to beat you!" Akane huffed. "I'm the best Martial Artist in Nerima, I can kick your ass with both hands tied behind my back right after having run a marathon!" she boasted.

"Well, if that's the way you want it... I guess we can have a quick spar now, then get down to the real fight after school? That way, you'll get a chance to prove yourself right now without becoming late to class for it." Ranma offered.

"Right." Akane said with a note of faint confusion. "Get ready, because here I come." she snarled and charged, only to suddenly find herself face-down on the ground, both hands held behind her back and Ranma's knees pressed into her back. He shifted his grip to a one-handed one, then deftly pressed a few pressure points.

"So much for that. Well, I'll see you after school then." Ranma commented, then helped her back onto her feet and then jogged into school, not wanting to be late on his first day. His mother would have a fit if he somehow managed that.

* * *

Akane was completely beside herself by the time school was finally over. She'd felt weird all day, ever since that jerk Saotome cheated in their fight in the morning. She owed him for that, owed him big-time. She was going to teach him not to strike when she wasn't ready! She'd show him!

"Argh!" she snarled under her breath, then stalked off towards the bathroom, leaving her worried friends behind, scratching their heads as they wondered just what was wrong with Akane.

Akane strode into the nearest unoccupied stall, then lifted her skirt and started scratching, rubbing and touching herself furiously in a very embarrassing place, finally gaining some much needed relief. The itch had been driving her insane all day long, but she had steeled herself and not went to the bathroom more often then usual, just to show the itch who was boss!

"Oh, Kami... That feels good..." she purred, wondering just what the hell was wrong with her. She was never like this! But this was the third time today that she had to do this. She clenched her teeth as relief finally came. She trembled against the wall as she eased off the orgasmic height she'd just taken herself to, then seated herself and slumped down over her legs, recentering herself.

Damn that boy!

Not only had he beaten her, which caused her to constantly think of him through the day, but her sex drive had suddenly went into overdrive.

Akane gasped.

Was she in l... Did she find him at...

She shook her head.

Boys were all perverts! There was no well in hell that she found him attractive, it just wasn't possible! It couldn't be!

And she certainly wasn't in love with him!

She suppressed a groan as she felt faint stirrings of the itch, again.

She'd just climaxed for crying out loud and yet, here she started to find herself wanting another one. She usually got by for months on one! ( Which explains a lot about her temper... ) What the hell was wrong with her! She growled, then hastily tidied herself up and left the stall, washing herself off and splashing her face with cold water before she left for the fight.

She wasn't all that surprised to find the new guy involved in an argument in the school yard with Kuno as she left the building. What was surprising her, was that the Saotome boy seemed to have the situation well in hand.

"Look, I'll go over this again. You were the one who said that I had to defeat Akane in order to date her. I am now going to defeat her. Once I have, I'll ask her out. You yourself have attempted this for months now, correct?" Ranma stated in a tired voice that revealed that he'd probably attempted to explain this to Kuno quite a few times by now. "Your rules. I merely followed them. So where do you get off saying that I'm a 'dishonourable lout', when I'm only doing what you yourself are doing? Where is the honour in a claim like that?"

"But surely..." Kuno tried.

"No but. No nothing. You're doing it. Now I'm doing it. If what I'm doing is dishonourable, then so is what you're doing and have been doing for quite a while now." Ranma countered.

"But I h..." Kuno valiantly attempted to argue.

"Are your actions dishonourable?" Ranma demanded.

"No, forsoth one such as I am..." Kuno began.

"Excellent. Then neither are mine. So kindly step aside and await the conclusion of my impending challenge." Ranma stated, then discovered that she had arrived. "Ah, Tendo Akane. Excellent. Shall we get started or have you changed your mind? If so, I'd be happy to merely ask you out in a more 'normal' manner and accept whatever answer you decide to give me."

"Fat chance, cheating jerk. I'll teach you to strike when I'm not looking!" Akane snarled.

"Very well." Ranma responded. "I'll let you get a chance to land a few swings before I start countering." he added.

"Get ready to be clobbered!" Akane growled, enraged by his casual insult of her abilities. He was handicapping himself? She was the best Martial Artist in all of Nerima, she wasn't going to stand for being belittled like that! "Kiiiiiya!" she howled and charged at him, launching a haymaker that could have dented a tank, had it actually struck anything but air.

Ranma let her swing and kick at him about a dozen times, calmly dodging or deflecting her, in his eyes, clumsy attacks.

"I advise you to be attentive, because I will launch my first attack in five. Four... Three... Two... One... Now..." Ranma said, then swung. Akane who had been warned well in advance, blocked it, but was still tossed back nearly two meters by the sheer force of it. She gingerly shook her arms, as Ranma calmly awaited her next move.

/Yikes/ Akane mentally exclaimed, that blow felt as if it could have broken both her arms. He was strong, very strong. But she couldn't let that scare her, she was Tendo Akane, she was the foremost Martial Artist in the ward! She charged at Ranma again, but he easily blocked everything she did.

"Another one, a little faster this time, in five... Four... Three... Two... One... Now..." Ranma announced, then struck again. Akane just barely managed to somewhat deflect it, she had to dodge as well to completely avoid it. "And yet another one, still a little faster, in five... Four... Three... Two... One... Now..." he continued and Akane grunted as the punch easily went through her attempt to block it and dug into her stomach.

She took several steps backwards, cursing mentally. The guy was good, stronger then her and much faster then her.

"This time, a whole lot faster, in five... Four... Three... Two... One... Now..." Ranma announced, then seemingly vanished from where he was standing, only to reappear right in front of her at the same time as she felt something strike her stomach again.

She grunted and staggered backwards, wheezing as she attempted to get some air back into her system after having been robbed of her breath.

"Do you yield?" he calmly inquired, not even slightly out of breath.

"No way, jerk!" Akane snapped, then darted back at him, but her axe-kick didn't even come close to hitting him and in return, she received another blow to the stomach. This one, downed her and she had to struggle in order to get back onto her feet.

"I'm now going to launch a combination. It will hurt. Are you sure that you aren't interested in yielding? You're clearly outmatched and unlike Kuno-san over there, I'm not going to keep on holding back much longer. He clearly outclasses you, so why he bothers to pretend and act as if he doesn't, is quite beyond me.

"You idiot! Meanie! I'll disembowel you, you freak!" Akane cursed, then shot forward at him and struck with all her might, her right fist crashing into his face.

"Not if that's all you've got." Ranma calmly announced, then gently removed her fist from his face. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully and smiled. "You've got potential, no doubt about that. But you're way too easily distracted by your anger, your moves lack focus and you're absolutely horrible at following up your attacks. It's almost as if you expect every single one of them, to completely and utterly defeat your opponent." he assessed and then sniffed. "Well, perhaps anger isn't the only thing distracting you. Are you that excited over our impending date?" he inquired with a curious look directed at her nether regions.

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" Akane howled, then suddenly held a huge wooden mallet in her hands, taking a swing at Ranma who countered with a Kodachi he hadn't been holding a split second earlier, cleaving the mallet in two.

"Hm, you're even able to use subspace techniques and infuse your limbs, sinews and muscles with Ki. Yes, you definitively have talent. But you just haven't trained enough to go up against real Martial Artists." Ranma observed, dispelling the sword he'd just summoned and bouncing the head of the mallet from hand to hand. "Well, it has been enjoyable, but it's time to end this little challenge and set a date for our date. How's Saturday evening for you? Around four?"

"I'm not defeated yet!" Akane protested, then launched herself at Ranma again, only to have him catch her by her throat, spin her around and catch both of her flailing arms, putting them behind her back. Her legs were suddenly swept out from underneath her and she grunted as her ass hit the ground. A moment later, he was sitting as well, had her pulled up against him and used his legs to hold hers down, his hands keeping her arms behind her back.

"Is that so?" he asked, then shifted his grip on her wrists to a one-handed one, moving his right hand up to her neck. "I could easily strangle you or break your neck right now. You are defeated. If you keep on insisting otherwise, I'll rip your clothes apart for the entire school to see. Now, do you yield?" Ranma finished and Akane finally lowered her head in shame.

She had been defeated. Completely and utterly.

By a boy.

"I yield." Akane managed to get out between tightly clenched teeth. She wasn't really defeated, of course. She was just... Temporarily inconvenienced. And if this perverted molester went ahead and realized his threat to strip her, she'd be really inconvenienced. That was the only reason why she yielded. Not because she was actually defeated. No, of course not.

Akane gritted her teeth. Once Kasumi found out about this, she'd peel the skin right off this insolent deviant inch by inch. Then, once she was through with him, Nabiki would put him through the wringer to really finish him off.

But first, Akane herself would defeat him completely and utterly. She was going to teach him, oh yes, she was. Not trained enough to go up against real Martial Artists indeed. Feh! She was a real Martial Artist! The best in Nerima! After her sisters and mother, of course. And her father. But they didn't really count. After all, she was the Heir to the Tendo School!

"You cur! Foul sorcerer! I charge!" Kuno suddenly bellowed and raced to the attack.

"What a blowhard." Ranma sighed behind her back, then she suddenly found herself free again and spun around, quickly getting back onto her feet, only to fall silent in mute astonishment as she saw Kuno attack as he never had before. He was much faster then he ever had been before, he moved with more grace and he launched intricate attacks that she'd never gotten to see before.

One of his moves was so fast and powerful, that it even created vacuum blades that struck from a distance, completely shredding several trees that were unfortunate enough to be located behind where Ranma had once been, before he moved out of the way. A feat which the trees were unable to duplicate.

"Careful, Kuno. You could harm innocents with that attack." Ranma advised, flowing out of the way of everything Kuno threw at him. "Everyone around the wall, get away from it. Now!" Ranma ordered and slowly moved over towards the wall, from which people scattered in a mad rush as Kuno launched attack after attack at his evasive opponent.

Akane stared with her mouth open, as Kuno displayed a prowess in the arts she'd never suspected him of possessing. Not that he could defeat her, of course. She was still the best Martial Artist in Nerima. It was just that such moves would be... Inconvenient.

"Airen!" a shrill cry pierced the yard, apparently originating from a slender Chinese girl whom had appeared at the top of the wall. "Stupid stick-boy no try to harm Airen!" she shouted, then whipped out two odd-looking ornate clubs, apparently from out of nowhere. With a fierce battle-cry, she launched herself at Kuno, who stopped in complete bafflement at her attack.

Or perhaps because the gorgeous girls flying kick allowed him to glimpse in under her short mini-skirt, revealing to him that this strange foreigner didn't believe in wearing panties.

But we'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that it was bafflement over the unexpected arrivals surprising attack that froze him, instead of previously mentioned circumstances and 'bare facts', as they were.

Yeah, right.

+Kdunk+

The flying kick struck with immense power and it was instantly followed up by the girl flipping around mid-air, one club striking Kuno in the gut and the other socked him underneath his jaw. The force of the combined attack threw him across the yard and he crashed into the school building, where he listlessly slid to the ground, unconscious and with a weird smile on his face.

Due to the surprise, no doubt. Not anything else...

"Shampoo. Whatcha doin' here?" Ranma asked, leaning against the wall in a nonchalant pose.

"Nihao, Ranma. It is too-too good to see Airen again. Shampoo miss Airen, come to Japan and search for Airen. Find Airens dishonourable father and beat truth out of. Also see Airen too-too nice mother." the girl, apparently named Shampoo, revealed as she skipped over towards Ranma, where she leapt into his arms with a happy expression.

The two of them then proceeded to kiss the heck out of each other, caressing and grabbing each other in all sorts of embarrassing places that made Akane's itch even worse then it already was. She very nearly succumbed and started pleasuring herself right then and there, in front of everybody.

"Hey, Shamps. I've got a date on Saturday. You wanna tag along?" Ranma inquired once they'd finally separated somewhat, Shampoo was still moulded up alongside Ranma, snuggled up underneath a muscled arm draped across her shoulders.

"If Airen show and do too-too good things to Shampoo again, Shampoo all for it. Whom other girl? Or perhaps, girls?" Shampoo responded with a sultry smile.

"Just one other at the moment. Akane over there." Ranma replied, nodding in Akane's direction. Shampoo's gaze shot across the school yard and Akane eep:ed as it fell upon her. She had never had a girl look at her in that manner before, the fact that Shampoo licked her lips afterwards was even more disturbing.

"Oh, she too-too cute. Shampoo look forward to date." Shampoo announced.

"Did any of the others tag along?" Ranma inquired.

"Shampoo not know. Follow Airen straightaway upon awakening after too-too good time. Others may have followed too." Shampoo replied. "Shampoo not have seen others from village. But Shampoo did see Spatula Girl earlier." she added.

"Ucchan? Cool. So, it'll be the four of us if she shows up before Saturday. Perhaps one or two more, if I run across anyone suitable before then." Ranma announced.

"Shampoo look forward to too-too good time. Shampoo can hardly wait. Airen sure Airen no want show Shampoo too-too good things now?" Shampoo purred, as Akane fumed, working herself up to a murderous rage at the rampant pervertedness which seemed to surround Saotome Ranma.

"Not right now, Shamps. I will probably have to swing by the Tendo Dojo before it's time for Oral training. My mother has been really intense about it lately and she'll get really pissed if I'm late for it." Ranma replied. "You'll have to settle for a quick Ki-infusion." he finished, then reached underneath her skirt. Shampoo eep:ed in eager anticipation, then squealed in pure pleasure as a flash of bright blue light shot out from underneath her short skirt. Her hair stood on ends and she staggered backwards up against the wall, where she slumped and sank to the ground, a haunted yet extremely satisfied expression on her face.

"Airen learn too-too delightful technique since last we meet." Shampoo purred, looking up at him with an adoring expression, a devoted gaze and a shit-eating grin.

"Who's that... That... Whore!" Akane rumbled.

"This? This is Xian Pu, but I call her Shampoo as it's easier to pronounce. I met her in China and she's now one of my mistresses." Ranma replied, only to get elbowed in the ribs for his careless statement.

"Shampoo wife." Shampoo admonished him.

"We're still debating the issue." Ranma amended with a wry grin.

"You pervert! You Chinese bimbo whore!" Akane cried out, then charged at the couple.

"Too-too Cute Girl, is obstacle?" Shampoo inquired, looking up at Ranma.

"I'll set her straight. Don't do anything... Permanent... To her." Ranma said and removed his arm from Shampoo's shoulders, unleashing her at the charging Akane.

The End! ( For now... )


	3. Three

Pervert Fu R  
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Who knew that a spot of rain in the wrong place at the wrong time, could have such a huge impact on the Ranma-verse. Or perhaps that should be, a spot of rain in the right place at the right time? Ranmaverse AU.

Disclaimer: Ranma ½, the characters and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were! The story is mine though, all mine. This series deals with mature subject matters and violence. If this disturbs you, don't read. But if it does, then why the heck are you watching the show/reading the manga in the first place?

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)  
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860 or through e-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dot com, more stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above if you're reading this on fanfiction dot net.

"speech"  
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers  
/thoughts/  
/telepathy/  
translation  
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Previously, on 'Pervert Fu'

"Airen learn too-too delightful technique since last we meet." Shampoo purred, looking up at him with an adoring expression, a devoted gaze and a shit-eating grin.

"Who's that... That... Whore?!" Akane rumbled.

"This? This is Xian Pu, but I call her Shampoo as it's easier to pronounce. I met her in China and she's now one of my mistresses." Ranma replied, only to get elbowed in the ribs for his careless statement.

"Shampoo wife." Shampoo admonished him.

"We're still debating the issue." Ranma amended with a wry grin.

"You pervert! You Chinese bimbo whore!" Akane cried out, then charged at the couple.

"Too-too Cute Girl, is obstacle?" Shampoo inquired, looking up at Ranma.

"I'll set her straight. Don't do anything... Permanent... To her." Ranma said and removed his arm from Shampoo's shoulders, unleashing her at the charging Akane.

Roll credits

* * *

Chapter Three:

+Knock+Knock+Knock+

"I'm coming." a sweet voice which Ranma had learned to recognize as Kasumi from his examinations of the Tendo girls called from within and moments later, the door opened, revealing the girl in question. She looked curiously at Ranma for a moment, then identified the bruised listless heap he carried as her sister Akane. "Akane!" she exclaimed. "What happened?! Come, please. Bring her inside."

"Sorry for intruding." Ranma automatically interjected as he crossed the threshold, well indoctrinated by his mothers teachings, and followed Kasumi's lead to the living room, where the parents, Kimiko and Soun, reacted in similar manners. Both of then whisked across the room in a hardly visible blur and liberated Ranma from his burden, jointly carrying her over towards a couch where they laid her out, fussing over her.

"What happened?!" Kasumi repeated.

"She called another Martial Artist a 'Chinese Bimbo Whore' and then proceeded to attack her, which was a very bad idea. Shampoo is a far better Martial Artist then Akane is." Ranma reported. "She's not seriously injured, it's just bruises, a wounded pride and fatigue. I dressed the scrape and the three cuts she got. She'll be right as rain with a bit of rest." he continued, pointing out the wounds in question.

"Where is this... Shampoo?" Kasumi inquired, cracking her knuckles with a feral anticipatory look in her eyes.

"I figured it would be better for all involved if she didn't come here, so I sent her shopping." Ranma replied. "Akane was the aggressor, so she is the one at fault. Shampoo merely defended herself." he added, causing Kasumi to turn her attention to him.

"Who are you?" Kasumi inquired.

"Saotome Ranma, Heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts." Ranma introduced himself with a bow, then his right hand hastily darted out and took possession of Kasumi's hand, upon which he placed a gentle kiss. He left out the part about also being the Heir to the Founding School in accordance to Genma's hint that revealing his status as Happosai's favoured apprentice would only serve to terrify his old friend Soun. "And whom might you be, fair maiden?" he inquired, glancing up at her with her hand still in his, his lips just barely removed from it.

"T-Tendo Kasumi." Kasumi stuttered out, before she recovered and pulled her hand away. "Anything Goes?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. When Akane spoke of herself as the Heir to the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts earlier, I got a bit curious and took it upon myself to bring her safely back home, asking around to find out just where her home was." Ranma revealed.

Lying in order to get laid and/or just impressing women was a standard male tactic and apparently a manly trait, according to his mother.

Perhaps being a consummate liar explained why Nodoka had fallen for Genma, because Ranma certainly didn't find very much else about his father, other then his drinking and skills in the Martial Arts, that was in accordance to Nodokas opinions regarding manly behaviour.

"You're Genma's son?" Soun spoke up, having left Akane to Kimiko's tender care.

"I do indeed have that... Honour. Do you know my father?" Ranma inquired.

"Yes. We were apprenticed under the same Master." Soun revealed, shuddering as he recalled the horror of the last couple of years when the Master had shown up on a fairly regular basis, revealing that he was bored after Genma had left on an unexpectedly long training journey. It had kept Soun in shape and he'd learned a thing or two, but he would rather have gone without those benefits if it meant not having to see, hear or in any other way get exposed to the dreaded Master.

"Ah, you're the Soun he mentioned a few times. I never did get to hear your full name from him." Ranma lied. "Pleased to meet you." he added and bowed.

"You are aware of the promise to unite the Tendo and Saotome schools?" Tendo inquired.

"Unite the schools?" Ranma inquired, feigning confusion. "The two schools are to have a joint apprentice or something?"

"I'm home." a voice called from the entrance, a voice Ranma now recognized as Nabiki.

"Not quite." Soun responded. "My third daughter Nabiki just returned, I'll explain it once everyone is gathered. Kasumi, could you be a dear and serve our guest something to drink in the meantime?"

"Why should..." Kasumi started, then her eyes narrowed and she observed Ranma in silence for a brief moment, before she smiled sweetly and nodded. "Certainly, father. With pleasure." she added and nodded at Ranma. "If you'd come with me?" she invited and headed towards the kitchen, leaving her parents alone with Akane.

"Hey, Kasumi! You'll never believe what just happened at sch..." Nabiki started as she entered the kitchen, only to fall silent as she spotted Ranma. "You! You're the one who defeated Akane and then carried her off after that other stranger knocked her out!"

"You beat Akane?!" Kasumi growled, spinning around and advancing towards Ranma.

"It was an honourable challenge, according to the traditions of the Amazon laws." Ranma responded as he took several steps back, holding his hands up in a defensive position.

"What laws?" Kasumi snapped.

"The Amazon laws. Or well, at least your modified version thereof." Ranma replied.

"What sort of nonsense are you talking about?" Nabiki demanded, joining her sister in staring down Ranma with equally menacing expressions directed at him.

"Well, Kuno said that Akane was an Amazon and that the one who defeats her gets to date her. So I assumed that she was part of an Amazon community here in Japan or something of the sort. She accepted the challenge and I defeated her, earning the right to date her. It sounds an awful lot like a modified version of the Amazon marriage law to me." Ranma explained. "But if you guys aren't part of an Amazon colony, then why is such a ridiculous tradition even in place to begin with?" he inquired.

"It was Kuno's idea." Nabiki snorted. "Akane went along with it, convinced that she'd never be beaten anyway." she added and backed down, apparently somewhat appeased by Ranma's explanation.

Kasumi, however, was not.

"So you beat up my baby sister?" Kasumi demanded, clenching her fists.

"I asked her out first and repeatedly offered to give up the challenge, if she'd just respond to my request in a more normal manner. She refused, accepted the challenge and she threw the first punches. So, I fought back and won. I did her no harm that fifteen minutes of rest wouldn't take care of." Ranma calmly explained. "She's in the state she is in now, because she made the mistake of attacking Shampoo, a far better Martial Artist then Akane is."

"But you still hurt my sister. You'll pay for that." Kasumi interjected.

"One moment, Kasumi. I would like to inform you that due to beating Shampoo and the recently mentioned Amazon laws, I've sort of been adopted into her family. As such, the Amazon laws apply to me as well. If you should happen to fight me and win, I am required by law to either kill or marry you." Ranma revealed. "And I must say, throwing the fight before such immense beauty and receive the privilege of marrying such perfection does sound awfully tempting at the moment." he added and winked at Kasumi, who blushed at the compliment, throwing her somewhat off balance.

"Weren't you going to date Akane?" Nabiki dryly interjected.

"No offence to your sister, she seems like an exciting gal and I certainly won't mind going out on a date with her to see if there's potential for something more there. But as a potential wife, Kasumi seem to by far outshine Akane." Ranma deftly replied and moved closer to Kasumi, grasping her hand and surreptiously pressing a few rather neat little spots, slowly rubbing his thumb over one of them as he continued to speak, gently letting a slight amount of Ki trickle out and into Kasumi through that thumb.

Which instantly flustered the young woman, causing her to loose track of her agitation and instead start to focus on the increasingly pleasant sensations which accompanied his touch. With a smile, Ranma reached out and grasped Nabiki's hand as well, repeating the process with her.

"As do you, fair maiden. What might your name be?" Ranma inquired, smiling at the now flustered Nabiki.

"Tendo Na-n-Nabiki." she stuttered.

"This family has truly been blessed, to house three such gorgeous creatures." Ranma announced, bending down to place a kiss on Nabiki's hand. "My name is Saotome Ranma, Heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts."

"I knew." Nabiki breathed, swallowing nervously before she yanked her hand away, staring down at it and then over at Ranma with narrowed eyes. She clearly suspected something, but for whatever reason, didn't voice whatever suspicions she might harbour.

Ranma gave a mental shrug, he'd have plenty of time to work her over later. Though he made a mental note of the fact to up the pressure then, as Nabiki was apparently made out of somewhat sterner stuff then her sisters.

"What say you, beautiful Kasumi? Might you too, be willing to grant me the opportunity to get to know you in private? Mayhap over dinner, someplace nice? Would, Sunday around six o clock, work for you?" Ranma asked, turning to face Kasumi, turning her hand palm up and placing a gentle kiss in the palm of it, slowly closing her fingers over it. "My heart, such as it is, lies in your slender and capable hand." he said with a sultry purr.

"But my sister..." Kasumi protested and Ranma increased the flow of Ki somewhat.

"Only agreed to a date because I defeated her. You, I'm asking. What do you want, Kasumi-chan?" Ranma inquired, smiling gently at her. "What do you want?" he repeated, increasing the flow of energy yet again.

"I... I... I... Yes." she managed to get out, gulping nervously.

After having heard that, Soun quietly removed himself from the doorway and headed back towards the living room. It appeared as if he didn't even have to bring the promise up, at least not yet. The kids were doing just fine on their own and wouldn't need additional prompting. Not yet, at any rate.

Having received Kasumi's agreement for a date, Ranma turned his attention towards Nabiki and unleashed a devastating smile in her direction, which made the middle sister feel weak in the knees before he'd even opened his mouth to address her.

* * *

"Hello, son. You're late home from school today. Do you have a reason for it?" Nodoka asked as Ranma entered the Saotome residence and encountered his mother ironing a shirt in the living room.

"I went over to the Tendo's and got myself a couple of dates for this weekend." Ranma replied, then blinked as he saw his fathers bruised and beaten body resting on the couch. "What's up with him?" he asked.

"Oh, you had a visitor earlier. A girl from China came by looking for you, a very attractive young girl named Xian Pu. She and your father had a brief discussion regarding her right to see you." Nodoka replied.

"Ah, yes. She did mention something about that, now that I think about it." Ranma commented as he recalled what Shampoo had said earlier.

"You know this girl? Is she one of your girlfriends?" Nodoka asked.

"Yeah, we met in her village back in China shortly after I got my curse." Ranma replied and scratched the back of his head. "According to the laws of her village, she's not my girlfriend, but my wife." he continued with a faint shrug. "Amazon marriages aren't registered as such with the Chinese government, so there's no paperwork for it. She's a good girl and as there's no record of me being married to her preventing a Japanese marriage, I've sorta let that slide."

"But... Will she accept another wife?" Nodoka asked in a worried tone of voice.

"She certainly has no qualms about mistresses, but we have yet to have a discussion about another marriage." Ranma replied, then blinked. "I am 'married' to some other girls from her village as well though. So she shouldn't have any issues with another wife, I guess." he reflected.

"Oh, that's okay then." Nodoka decided, then smiled as she observed her manly son. "How many wives do you have, Ranma?" she inquired.

"Five." he replied. "Xian Pu was the first of them, but I whipped a couple of other asses in my time there, which by their laws mean either marriage or death if the one defeated is still single. All the single girls decided to go for the marriage." he explained and scratched the back of his head. "Pops knocked me unconscious and headed out of the village, so I dunno where the others are. Shampoo managed to track me down though, so I'm guessing the others will show up sooner or later."

"Five marriages! And I wasn't there for a single one of them!" Nodoka wailed in abject depression.

"Well, there wasn't much of a ceremony. A Kiss of Marriage after their defeats and then jointly putting our hands against an ugly stone in the centre of the village, then it's apparently official." Ranma shrugged and wrapped his arms around his mother. "When I marry Kasumi, we'll have a large ceremony, all right?" he comforted her.

"Promise?" Nodoka sniffled and directed pleading eyes towards Ranma.

"Sure thing, mom." Ranma promised her with a large smile.

"Oh, you're such a good manly son!" she approved and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'll just finish ironing these, then we'll get started on your training." she added and nodded at a small pile of shirts she still had to iron.

"All right. Sure thing. I'll just go grab something to eat in the kitchen in the meantime." Ranma declared, then spun his mother around half a lap, dipped her down low and pressed his lips against hers in a passionate kiss.

"You're such a good son!" Nodoka approved once the two of them had pulled away from each other and Ranma had pulled her upright again. She straightened out her clothes and took a deep breath to calm down her rapidly beating heart, swallowing uncomfortably as the passionate kiss had affected her more then she cared to admit. "With skills like that, it's no wonder that girls keep falling for you." she gushed.

"Aw, mom. T'was hordly nuthin'." Ranma modestly replied.

"Ranma, language." she sternly berated him.

"Sorry, mom." he apologized with a contrite expression.

"Very well. Run along and get something to eat, Ranma. I'll soon be done." she said, gave him a more chaste kiss then the one he'd given her, then turned back to finish her ironing.

"Sure thing, mom." Ranma agreed and headed for the kitchen.

"Such a manly son..." Nodoka murmured as she started ironing again, though the fingers of her left hand danced delicately over her lips for a couple of seconds before that. She shook her head to clear her mind and refocused on her work.

There would be time enough for other thoughts during their training.

Perhaps Happosai would be joining them as well.

Nodoka flushed at that thought, their training sessions were almost always more enjoyable when Happosai had taught Ranma a new technique or offered some suggestion to improve upon an old one, then needed a female subject to try it out on. The old Master had been hinting at the fact that Ranma may just be ready to learn the next level of his little Ki infusion technique, which was a favourite of hers ever since Ranma started practising it on her.

When Ranma had first learned that particular trick, Nodoka had been ecstatic and very enthusiastic about her son's new-found ability to cause a climax with a simple touch. It hardly seemed possible that there was room for improvement upon such a marvellous technique!

When he'd gotten better at it, she'd been forced to revise her position on that, as the climaxes grew more powerful then when he'd just learned it.

When he mastered it, she'd stopped being surprised, as he was now able to manipulate the strength, length, number and timing of the climaxes. The time when he'd set her up to have a moderately powerful climax once an hour for an entire day damn well nearly shattered her mind. Like clockwork for an entire 24 hours, she'd been given a climax such as she'd only dreamt that Genma would be capable of gifting her with.

Though it had been somewhat embarrassing as she'd had one while riding the bus on her way back home from her daily shopping, but she'd concealed it pretty well as a sudden bout of fatigue. The woman sitting right next to her had given her a knowing look however.

Nodoka was so lost in her hazy sensual dream world that she didn't notice that she nearly set the shirt she was ironing on fire until Ranma came running wondering about the burning smell he'd felt in the kitchen. After that incident, Nodoka managed to clear her mind and focus on the work at hand, until it was time for the evenings training session with Ranma.

The End! ( For now... )


End file.
